What We've Learned About Adoption

Last August, Julie and I embarked on a journey that has proven to be the greatest experience of our lives. We welcomed our first child, Carter, into our hearts and home through adoption.

Adoption is not easy. It is a process that can be tiring, emotionally draining and expensive. But as you can see by our smiles in this photo, the strain and stress of getting to this place quickly fades when the joy of adoption is fully realized.

Hot mom! We had fun going out when he was this little. People would comment on how GOOD Julie looked to have a newborn. She would just smile and say, "thanks."

Julie opened her heart so quickly. I entered this whole adoption thing with caution too much caution... probably because I wanted to protect her. I didn't want Julie to be hurt or disappointed in any way. As you can see in this picture, it didn't take long before I was 'full speed ahead!'

Some of our friends have asked us why we chose to adopt. I thought about that question for months before I really had an answer. I discovered that the real answer wasn't what it seemed to be at all.

Why We Chose to Adopt:

We adopted for God's glory, not our own.
In his letter to the church in Ephesus, the Apostle Paul writes, "In love He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved (Eph. 1:5-6)." God adopted us “to the praise of His glorious grace.” He didn’t need us to make Himself complete. He adopted us out of His abundant mercy. While our struggle with infertility may have opened our minds to adoption, it was the love and grace of God in Jesus that ultimately opened our hearts. When considering whether or not to adopt, the first questions to ask are not those of feasibility or affordability. Rather, we should be asking, “is glorifying and praising God my aim?”

We adopted a child in order to model for him and others the mercy and justice of God.
We chose to adopt Carter sight unseen. He didn’t have to pass a test or win our approval. He was welcomed instantly and freely without meeting any conditions. In adoption, we love because we have been loved.  We are instructed to “care for orphans and widows in their troubles (James 1:27).” In doing this we demonstrate to the world and to the child the love, mercy and justice of God.

Our aim is not to take a child with little sense of worth and fill him with a great sense of worth. Rather our aim is to take a child who by nature makes himself the center of the universe and show him that he was made to put God at the center of the universe and get joy not from seeing his own tiny worth, but from knowing Christ who is of infinite worth. We adopt to lead a child to the everlasting joy of making much of the glory of the grace of God.

 We know that adopting will almost certainly bring heartache and stress and suffering, just like adoption cost God the life of his Son. We are adopted “through Jesus Christ”—through his suffering. Many experience the agony of adoptions that don’t work out, cases of mental illness and profound physical disability or bizarre and inexplicable behavior. Of course this is not unique to adoption. It can happen—it does happen—with our biological children. The implication is this: we adopt with our eyes wide open. This WILL bring pain. And this may bring tragedy. We embrace it because we have a firm faith in the all-sufficiency of God’s future grace. The pain of adopting and rearing children is sure. It will come in one form or the other. Should that stop us from having children or adopting children? No. Because for every new day no matter how difficult, there is more true joy in walking with God through fire, than walking on beaches without him.


*Adapted from Predestined for Adoption to the Praise of His Glory by John Piper